Sunday Funday
by the guttersnipe
Summary: Naruto's prank has gone bad leaving Ino and Deidara to suffer and do wild things. Established SasuIno. Naruto Ino Deidara relatives.


TITLE: Sunday Funday

SUMMARY: Naruto's prank gone bad leaving Ino and Deidara to do wild things. Established SasuIno. Naruto | Ino | Deidara | relatives.

GENRE: Humor

PARINGS:

Sasuke/Ino

Naruto/Sakura

Neji/Tenten

Pein/Konan

…

Ino threw herself on the couch after an exhausting day at the hospital. She had to sub for the other intern, who was her ill-timed group mate, who did not give her an adequate reason why she can't come to work and her terror supervisor was being a bitch as always. She just had a grueling 38hr shift and she wanted her bed badly. She got up to take a long relaxing bath then a well deserved sleep when she noticed a large box of baked goods innocently and invitingly sitting on the kitchen counter. She changed agenda and went to the tempting pastries postponing her bath and bed appointment.

Deidara, the artist and the eldest of the Yamanaka brood, emerged from the studio from who knows how long he had been holed up in and saw his only sister animatedly watching a turned off TV set.

The blonde woman stretched out on the couch turned to face him and smiled dopily. "Did you notice how the amazing nothingness is? I can't believe I just ignore it every damn day. I should make a shrine devoted to it."

He raised a delicate left eyebrow and shrugged. His sister was sometimes weird. Maybe this was a PMS thing?

"Well don't just stand there. Come and enjoy this wonderful nothingness with your lovely baby sister. I promise you it'll be loads of fun!"

He was about to ignore her when he saw food on the coffee table. His stomach growled right on cue. It has been 18 hours since it last had sustenance of any kind. Who was he to reject the proffered goods anyway? His latest masterpiece needed to be finished first before he succumbs to anything else and now that he was finally done he must give in to his body's needs and wants. He plopped down beside her and tore a large chunk of loaf on her lap.

"Tomatoes, un?" He bit another mouthful just to be sure. His sister loves tomatoes so he wouldn't put it past her if she bought this one from somewhere. "Hmmm… This is surprisingly good, yeah."

Said sister preened and popped her p's. "Yuppy yup yup."

The Yamanaka siblings kept on eating everything edible on sight. They rummaged the fridge, cupboards, cookie jars, candy jars, ramen closet (yes, ramen closet) and the fruit hammock. They even raided the in-case-of-emergency supply and the 72 hour emergency kit.

"Feeding frenzy! Nom… nom… nom… nom… nom…" Ino yelled to the top of her lungs while acting like a shark about to devour a gummy worm.

"Fi fy fo fum. I smell the blood of an English man. Be he alive or be he fucking dead, I'll grind his fucking bones to make my bread," Deidara maniacally announced and acted like a giant looking for the ginger bread man. "I see you, yeah!" He singsonged.

After a while they noticed that they had eaten everything they had – even the energy bar on Ino's bag and the snack pack on Deidara's brush holder. She threw a tantrum, fit for a five year old child rolling across the floorboards, until her big brother got a bright idea.

"Get your ass up, un. The old bag had lots of food she selfishly keeps." Deidara glanced around for his coat.

Ino immediately jumped up from rolling on the wrapper laden ground and dragged her brother out the door. Bits of crumbs and wrapper stuck to her tousled hair. "To the hag's house!"

…

Naruto Uzumaki woke up and stretched lazily on the bed. He had tired himself out after perfecting his ultimate prank. He jumped out of the bed and ran to the kitchen like an excited child on Christmas morning. He skidded to a stop when he saw that the box of 'goodies' was gone, the kitchen was a mess, and the living room a disaster. Food wrappers were thrown around decorating the whole house – even the bathroom. He saw red when his precious ramen closet was ransacked.

He yelled bloody murder for his cousins and simultaneously ranted on how he was going to maim their asses to kingdom come. He calmed down after a bit when he realized that the house was empty except for him. He ran towards the kitchen counter to double check if the 'pastries' were still there.

"Oh holy shit."

He ran around the house to make sure the siblings were simply out and haven't come home yet but he saw Ino's medical knick-knacks lying around the single-seater couch and Deidara's phone and wallet were still on the bedside table. His supposed tomato and 'pot' loaf prank backfired on him big time. He frantically called for help. Minutes later his pink haired girlfriend arrived and pummeled him to the ground.

"You idiot!" She huffed and puffed as she delivered the fist of righteous justice. "I don't have to tell you that he'll kill you and spread your ashes to the wind, right?"

Naruto was on the couch being placated by his girlfriend when HE arrived like an avenging dark angel. He stiffened and reluctantly looked up from the safety of his girlfriend's lap. He saw a dangerous looking Sasuke Uchiha - his cousin's beau and his best friend. He can practically feel the killing intent choking him. Before Sasuke could make his move, someone has barged through the abused door and plucked him bodily from the safety of Sakura's lap.

"You idiotic dumbass!" Tsunade Senju, his grandmother, was surprisingly sober and on a rampage. After pounding him once again to the ground she left with a threat in her tone. "Find. Them."

Sasuke glared him to compliance and he pathetically spilled his side of the story.

"Where did they go next?" Sakura mused as they searched the village in Naruto's orange monstrosity of a pick up truck.

"I don't have to tell you you're dead if a strand of hair on her head was out of place," Sasuke scowled on the passenger seat as his eyes roamed.

They went to everyone they knew. Naruto was cussing along the way. His grandmother had refused to call the local authorities for assistance because she wants him to deal with this personally. He felt this was his punishment but it wasn't his fault. The dumbasses do not know how to ask if they can eat what's on the freaking table!

His uncle was livid enough as it was and his parents were waiting for him to tear him a new one. It was a small blessing that they were abroad. Add to that the incensed guy next to him. He just hoped he will come out of this alive. Too many people were threatening him and it kept piling up.

Sakura, bless her little heart, had served them iced cold tea after taking a break from yet another one of their searches. They concurred that it would be best if they would search individually and would regroup again after a couple of hours.

It was getting past midnight and the blonds were nowhere in sight.

"It's past midnight we have to call the cops for help," Sakura mused. Naruto was quick to protest. He really, really did not want the cops to know about this. For one, marijuana was banned in their small town.

"We don't have a choice, Dumbass."

The three bickered until they heard one thing that they did not want to hear in the middle of a calm occassionless night. They ran to the door as one just in time to see the fireworks display. As amazing as it was it was a bad omen.

"Deidara!" They all said in varying degrees of expression.

It was widely known that the oldest Yamanaka child was fond of fireworks, especially the illegal ones. He has once set the whole house on fire.

Naruto was very much appreciating the colorful pyrotechnique display in a child-like wonder. His senses was not in any way prepared for the next one where it lighted the whole village like it was freaking noon for five minutes followed by a very, very loud boom. His girlfriend next to him was astonished. She turned to see her boyfriend and smiled at his expression. She turned to see her former crush's expression but he was not there. She face-palmed and slapped her boyfriend's head. How could they be so dumb!

"Naruto!"

"What?" He asked absently.

She decked him again for good measure. "Deidara. Ino. Missing. Fireworks." She waited for the words to dawn on him. Why was she in love with this idiot again?

"Oh right. Right. Right. Right." He took her hand and dragged him to the mountains where the fireworks were set out.

…

The moment they arrived at the 'scene of the crime' they noticed that they weren't the only ones there. There was a happy crowd surrounding the makeshift bonfire. There was smoke everywhere. It looked like they were in heaven except they weren't.

"Am I dreaming? Pinch me, Sakura," He held his arm to her who was more than happy to prove that he wasn't dreaming. "Owie… I did not say punch me, I said pinch not punch, pinch. Pinch."

The couple stared at the scene in front of them. All the people they had asked for help along the way were happily partying.

For one, there was Sasuke's very, very serious brother smiling and laughing and basically doing all things he normally would not do. A blue blur was running everywhere screaming for Nemo and that he should come home. A loud droning voice was preaching something about the greatness of Jas-something. Next to him was a crying stump of a man lamenting about not being rich.

The couple had the 'what-the-flying-fuck' look.

The madness was not over because they saw a silhouette of a man making out with a tree or something like that. They averted their eyes quickly because it was just sad and wrong and sad but what they did not expect was a hotter than porn make out with Pein and Konan and was that poor Hinata who had just fainted because of the very, very illicit display of affection? Kiba was whistling and cheering the hot couple. Lee was sprouting the benefits of a good youthful love. Shino was crawling around and what looks like digging for ants. Neji sat on the ground next to the couple getting a haircut from a sword wielding Tenten.

In the center of the chaos very near the flames of the bonfire was Deidara flinging firecrackers and giggling happily and professing that art was a bang. A smiling redhead was running dangerously close to the flames and spark followed by a shrieking purple clad blond and a raven haired man who looks like Sasuke hot on her heels. Tobi wielded a huge ass fan and was ventilating the already massive fire like a maniac telling his sempai that he was a good boy. Shikamaru held a foot long joint and was lighting it using the bonfire flames. Chouji held a branch and was roasting something they did not want to know.

"_Fuego_!" (Fire) Sasori skidded to a stop next to the blond man.

"Yeah, Dei! Make more bangidy bang!" Ino seconded. She held hands with her brother's best friend and hopped in place ignoring her worried boyfriend who was struggling to get her to safety.

By now, Naruto was sweating buckets. He did not know how to get out of this colossal mess.

"What the hell is this shit?" Tsunade boomed through the forest. Two pairs of eyes tweaked and she was suddenly tackled enthusiastically and was bombarded with a very, very animated story telling complete with reenacting.

Apparently, Ino stumbled in the heart of the forest looking for food. Why in the will of fire she was looking for food in the middle of the freaking forest? No one knows. Deidara, in the fit of gallantness, wanted to do the right thing burned the whole place down to the ground. The Akatsuki, Deidara's friends, were the first to locate them after they received Naruto's message. By then they were unconsciously inhaling the smoke and was getting stoned in the process. They agreed to do the right thing and helped their blond friend and his sister. They gathered the rest on one place and lighted it, hence, the bonfire.

"Hansel and Gretel got nothin' on us. We escaped the evil clutches of the evil weed and succeeded in not only destroying her evil kingdom but her as well," the blond high as a kite med student confessed. "We epically burned her and everything on the effin' ground."

"See Granny, we did good, yeah!" Deidara piped from somewhere in her grandmother's massive bosom.

"Really, really good. We like prevented the druggies do bad things," Ino squealed in delight. "Ino is a good girl and Deidara is a good boy."

Ino was suddenly tackled from her grandmother's embrace by a happy Tobi. "Tobi good boy."

"Yamanaka's RULE!" Ino shouted from underneath Tobi.

Tsunade's eyebrows twitched spasmodically. She pointed her righteous pointer finger on her non inebriated grandson. "YOU! Clean this shit up. Alone!"

"But—"

"NOW!" Naruto was blown away by the rage of the old woman. He dejectedly did as he was told. It was a small mercy that he only had to put out the fire after making sure everything was burned and cannot be used again.

The old woman called for back up and threw all of them in jail until their high went down. Sasuke protested that he was above being thrown in a meager cell and he was sent to solitary confinement. Sakura was ordered to make sure they leveled out real quick – inside the cell.

Naruto came home at the crack of dawn after making sure everything was put out only to see to his demise. The Akatsuki and his friends were waiting for him and as soon as they saw him, they dog piled and had a rumble.

"I told you not a hair harmed, Idiot. She burned half of her head and don't get me started on her being high."

"I'm bald!"

"How is that my fault? Tenten did that. Me and Sakura saw it happen."

"You made me look for fuckin' Nemo!"

"I giggled. No Uchiha giggles."

"I acted like a brat on strings."

"Tobi is a good boy and fanned the smoke."

"SHUT UP TOBI!" Every one yelled.

"I smoked a three inch thick foot-long joint. It was so troublesome to finish. It was like sucking my whole life and it's still not enough."

Naruto glared at Shikamaru. "How'd you even measure it?"

"I ate a furry creature!"

"I slurped an anthill if that will make you feel good."

Everyone collectively stepped away from Shino. "Really? Chouji ate a furry creature and you're sickened with me eating an ant?"

"I could've been rich if I just sold all that pot!"

"Feel the pure ass wrath of the mighty fucking Jashin!"

"I made out with a tree!"

"I made out with Konan."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at the put out Pein.

"How was that bad?" Naruto asked.

"I could've gotten much more."

Konan, who was standing on the sidelines watching the rumble plucked Pein from the tangle of bodies and dragged him away. The look on the orange haired man's face clearly answered their unasked questions.

The Yamanaka siblings were peacefully sleeping their inebriation off the sidelines.

…

Thanks for reading!

A/N: Need I say I don't own anything except for this story?


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